Lemon Drops Filled with Muzic and Love

“Honey come inside, it’s getting too dark out there!” Marcino shouted.
“Ok!” Nature shouted back.
Nature walked into the house slowly and feeling unhappy.
“What’s wrong?” He asked.
“Seeing this octave today made me realize that I’m not happy. This
music, the choir in high school was the only thing that really made me
happy.”
“So what about, syke naw I’m joking.”
“You make me very happy, but that’s not what I’m talking about. I’m
not happy with my life and career choice more.”
“Well I . . . I —want to go back to school for music something that
aleays made me the happiest in life.” She said stumbling over her
words.
“Go back to school.” He said questioningly.
“Yes…umm I’ve come to the realization that music is my true passion.”
She said, looking concerned of what his answer might be.
“But I don’t understand you’re a successful medical examiner, you make
like $120,000 a year after taxes and you’re just starting so that’s
beyond good living, you love science and you-’’ “I know but that’s not
the point.”
“Yes I love science, but my heart is still with music and it always
has been, and I jus realized that today . . . as I was looking through
those old boxes filled with my memories.”
“I fell in love with music years ago, and never fell out; it’s always
been my first love and I just have to see where it will take me.”
“Ok.” Marc said with a sigh. “Well ok it’s final.” She said. “So what
do you think you will title your first song?” He asked with a grin she
said “Oh I have an idea.”
Lemon Drops Filled with Muzic and Love.

Lemon Drops Filled with Muzic and Love

 Indie was now focused on getting some of her homework out of the way,
but Nature wanted to continue to talk.  “Anye I have this funny
teacher she is really cool, and her name is Mrs. Jenkins-Do you have
her class?” Nature asked. Anye looked at her schedule for the year,
“Yea I do have her, and next to her name it says choir.” Anye said.
“Does she teach music or something?” She asked. Excitedly Nature said,
“ Yes and it is so fun, she’s funny and you learn new ways to sing and
how to get to different ranges and you get to sing a song by yourself
to see where belong in the choir, it’s like a real-’’ “Whoa-slow down
I barely even know what you talkin bout.” “My bad but yea it’s a real
choir, where you sing and learn to read music.” Nature was excited to
find someone who shared her passion and love for music and singing.
Rrrrrring, rrrrrrring the bell rang and it was time to go to fifth
period, but unexpectedly Anye and Nature were going to the same class.
They said goodbye to Indie and continued their discussion about music.

Lemon Drops Filled with Muzic and Love

“So why you not talking?” asked Anye. “I don’t know,  just looking
around-I guess.” Nature said “Oh so do you know anybody yet?” Indie
chimed in. “No, I know a couple of people, but they not on this lunch
period.” Nature said. “Nobody from your middle school came here?” Anye
asked “No, cuz I came from a county school, so er’body went to county
schools.” Nature said. “How bout you Indie?” Nature asked. Indie said,
“Yea my sister go here, but she graduate dis year, so it’s nothing
really special.” “Well my best friend go here, she in our grade and a
lot of people from our middle school came here too.” Anye said
proudly. “Oh.” Nature said.

Lemon Drops Filled with Muzic and Love

At that moment she knew had found her favorite teacher, Mrs. Jenkins.
She couldn’t explain, but something about Mrs. Jenkins’ personality
was magnetic and she also loved music. Music was always her getaway,
when all else failed she could always turn to music.
Fourth period finally, came and it was lunch time; she sat down at a
table and a couple minutes later two other girls sat down at her
table. Nature sat there in silence timidly looking around the room at
all of the girls; they looked happy loud voice boxes buzzed all around
her, and all she could do was look. She didn’t know anyone down there,
other tables filled with girls and laughter and talking, she felt like
she was the only one sitting in isolation even though two girls sat at
her table.

Lemon Drops Filled with Muzic and Love

With that thought she went back to the memory of her very first day of
high school. “Well what’s your name?” the pregnant choral director
asked. Softly she said, “My name is Nature.” Almost the room filled
with snickers and the whispers, until she started to sing; the room
fell silent and the wonder bread faces exchanged looks of
astonishment. After she knew her section in the choir she took her
seat surrounded by ghostly personalities. The bell finally rang and
she grabbed her things as quickly as her hands could move, she fumbled
and dropped things in her nervous attempt to leave quickly. Nature
looked around to see if anyone was watching her, and how awkwardly
clumsy she had been. She hurried out of the class excited, afraid and
nervous all in one.

Lemon Drops Filled with Muzic and Love

I remember this song, I loved this song. This song helped me to relax
and get through tough times. That was the year I decided to join Le
Bel Cante, that was a good year also my last, so it was sort of a sad
time. I still remember learning that song, we had a performance and we
weren’t close to ready for it. We were learning “Sweet Music,” and
trying to learn another amazing song all at the same time; “My Heart’s
been Anchored,” it wasn’t really hard to learn it was just placing
everything where it was suppose to be. It was a certain feeling you
got when the song was right, you just knew. Anyway, I—
Interrupting her thought Marc said, “I’m going to go in ok.” “Yea Hun
go ahead.” “Alright I’ll see you inside.” “Ok”
She picked the paper back up and stared at it mesmerized, my little
treasure she thought.

Lemon Drops Filled with Muzic and Love

 She sat forward on to the chair, she scooted up to the edge almost
until she looked like she was going to fall right onto the floor, she
sat straight up, her back tall and proud, her head lifted high with
pride, feet shoulder width apart-planted flat and firmly on the
ground, she then lifted the wrinkled, yellowed, and aged paper up and
out and started to read it only it was rhythmic; it had a tune and
melody, it was musical. “There is sweet music here, that softer
falls-than pedals from blown roses on the grass, or night dews on
still waters.”

Lemon Drops Filled with Muzic and Love

He pulled out a wrinkled, yellowed, and aged paper that had symbols on
it, that looked like Chinese. “Honey, where did you find this?” She
asked graciously. “Oh I just did some digging around . . . besides I
ran into Mrs. Jenkins and she gave me a copy after I told her that I
wanted to give you something really special for our anniversary.” “She
declared that you loved that song.” “I did.” “Well I’m glad.” And he
kissed her.

Lemon Drops Filled with Muzic and Love

 love his hands, his arms, his hugs. My Dad never hugged me the way
he does, never expressed me love for me like he does and that’s what I
always wanted from him. But no matter how much Marc loves me he’ll
never be my Dad, he’ll never fill that hole in my heart, cuz that hole
was for my Dad to fill, but he never did, at least not in the right
way.
At that moment hot tears burned down her face. Marc leaned in to see
her face, “What are you crying for?” he asked.
“Oh it’s nothing.” She lied.
“Are you sure?”
“Yes I’m fine.”
“Ok well look what I have for you . . .”
“What”

Lemon Drops Filled with Muzic and Love

She finished ringing up his items and handed him the bag, while he
handed her his phone.
Nature giggle, a very seductive giggle, “Uhhh—What’s this for?” she asked.
“Your number.” He answered.
“Oh really; nice way of asking.”
“I know, syke can I please have your number Miss Sunshine?”
“Yes.” Nature typed her name and number in his phone
Their hands touched one last time as he took his phone back from her.
Piter-Pater Piter-Pater. Rain started falling on the roof top she
looked up at the dark sky. Nature looked out at the driveway and saw
Marc’s car, but no Marc. He snuck up on her from behind and hugged her
with his large, thick, pale, manly hands, hands that looked so rough
and rugged, but felt so soft. His hands comforted her on many nights,
many occasions, when she cried and longed for someone to be by her
side, someone real to be by her side.

Lemon Drops Filled with Muzic and Love

He went to give her the things in his hand and their hands casually
touched for a few seonds.
She pulled her hand back quickly while grabbed one of the shirts that
fell on the counter. Marcino looked at her, gazing into her eyes like
a cute puppy. Nature flashed a smile and continued to ring up the rest
of his things.
“So Nature—’’ He starts to say.
Cutting him off she says, “How do you know my name.”
“It’s on your name tag.” He says letting out a little chuckle.
“Uhhhh, yea.” She didn’t remember having a nametag so she glanced down
as if she were looking at something else.
She started to say, “I don’t—’’ but decided on better words.
“No, you heard that girl over there call my name cause I don’t—’’
“Yea I know, yall don’t wear nametags.”
Nature felt a little stupid after that.
“Don’t feel bad.” Marc said.
“Yea I don’t.” Nature said.

Lemon Drops Filled with Muzic and Love

Nature watched him casually as he walked around the store looking at
different clothes and shoes; she watched what kind of things he picked
up and what he was wearing.
Damn he is fresh! I bet he smells good to just how he looks. He tall,
got muscles, light skin—huh—he look like he mixed, he got that pretty
petirican hair. And when he walks he commands attention . . . he know
he look good—I bet. I wouldn’t be surprised if—
“Hmmmm.’’ Marc said clearing his throat.
Nature blushed a little embarrassment on her face and said softly,
“Oh, are you ready.”
“Yea.”

Lemon Drops Filled with Muzic and Love

“I’m here.”
“Oh ok, babe I gotta go, I’ll call you back later ok.”
“Ok.”
“I’ll be home soon.”
“Ok bye hun.”
“See you, I love you.”
“Love you too.”
Nature started to remember the first time they met. She was working at
the Downtown Lockerroom when their eyes met as Nature walked over to
him and asked, “Do you need help with anything?”
“Naw.” He said.
“Ok well I’ll be over at the register if you need me.” Nature said
while smiling.
“Ok.”

Lemon Drops Filled with Muzic and Love

“I walked through the rosy red doors of the school, I saw this man
named Mr. Calbott, and I asked him where room M130 was?” “Go straight
down the hall and up the stairs.” said Mr. Calbott Nature flashed a
smile and said, “Thank you.” She was already late so she rushed off to
class.
She slowed her pace as she approached the door to the classroom,
turned the knob and walked in.  Two and a half rows of chairs lined
the room, but all the seats were empty. A sea of musical standing
faces turned to look at the timid skeleton standing in the door way
and then a soft, but booming voice said, “Come in.” Nature peeked
around the corner at first, trying not to draw to much attention to
herself as she walked in quickly practically stumbling over her feet.
Tap, Tap! Babe, Babe! Tap, Tap! She heard tapping noises ringing in
her ears, she snapped to the source of the noise as she returned back
to reality; only to hear Marc tapping on the phone and calling her.

Lemon Drops Filled with Muzic and Love

“Breathe in through the nose, and out through the mouth, is what I
thought to myself as I approached the sanctuary of melodies.”
“There before me stood a pregnant woman whom I did not know, but felt
like I had known for a life time. As timid and quiet as I came in I
took my seat surrounded by new faces, who all adored the pregnant
choral director Mrs. Jenkins.”
“It was my first day of high school and I didn’t know what to expect,
I didn’t even know where my homeroom was.”
Curiously interrupting her memories of that day Marc asked, “So how
did you find your class?”

Lemon Drops Filled with Muzic and Love

“I remember this one incident my school counselor wanted to have a
carwash to raise money for us. So I was there helping. When it was
over I told him to come pick me up and as I got into the truck I asked
him did he want to get a carwash. You know what his reply was? Girl
get in and stop asking bout this dumb mess.”
“Now my question to you is why was that so dumb?”
“Maybe—’’
“No don’t even answer that.”
“The happiest times of my life were in Mrs. Jenkins Class, well of my
high school life.”

Lemon Drops Filled with Muzic and Love

You are a STRANGER a FIGMENT of my SUBCONSCIOUS
Touching your face you seem so REAL. . .
So why is your PRESENCE. . . NON-EXISTENT
In the DARK of the hour AUTUMN CREEPS upon SUMMER, as something
ENGULFS my HEART in a fear so anxious-
HEART! There’s NOTHING there; so MEND your self, it’s time once more
to CONCEAL. . .
MIND! Why are you in BEWILDERMENT?
I saw you once, I tried not to stare-
I turned around and there you were, I blinked an eye and where’d you GO?
That day I used to RECALL so BRIGHTLY now a¬ BLUR.
When I turn my back I just want you to KNOW, I’ll be GONE forever, so
here’s your CHANCE to say NO DON’T GO-
But hurry up because it will be too late if you move too SLOW. . .

Lemon Drops Filled with Muzic and Love

“I’ll tell you what he did. He took me to some performances and picked
me up, he sometimes even sat and watched them, he complimented us to
Mrs. Jenkins, but you know what he would say to me about the practices
and the performances? He would say I don’t know why you always up this
school girl for this mess. Oh but it wasn’t just for choir he said
that about anything I wanted to stay after school for. He didn’t care
if I liked it cuz he belittled what I was doing.”
“You know how badly I felt? Do you know the pain I—’’
“Babe breathe.”
“No I will not, I got something to say and I’m goin’ say it.”
“I harvested so much pain from his statements calling everything I
ever wanted to do mess. I’ve even made poems about his nonexistent
love in my life.”
Subconscious

Lemon Drops Filled with Muzic and Love

He did a lot for me, but that’s not what I didn’t like about him. I
didn’t like the fact that I could never talk to him, I could never
talk for too long without him getting mad. I wanted him to be like
that Dad on the movie Pretty In Pink. He told his daughter how much he
loved her, he showed how much he loved her, he always told her that
she was pretty, and he supported her in her projects.”
“Huh—What did my Dad do?”

Lemon Drops Filled with Muzic and Love

Rrrrrrrrrring, Rrrrrrrrrring.
She came to the reality of her quaint porch. She wasn’t going to
answer the phone at first but she saw that it was Marcino.
“Hello.” She said. “Hey Babe.” said Marc.
“Hey.” Nature said.
“What’s wrong?” He said.
“My Dad died.”
“Oh babe I’m sorry to hear that—What did he die from?”
“Long story don’t feel like talking bout it.”
“So you ok, do you need me to come home?”
“No I’m fine, but I blew up at Beth tho.”
“Why—what happened?”
“She was telling me how I don’t care that Dad died.”
“Well do you?”
“Yes I care.”

Lemon Drops Filled with Muzic and Love

“You know what you goin’ rot in hell!”
“Oh yea—well I’ll see you there!”
With that comment Bethany stormed away and peeled out of the driveway
almost crashing into Nature’s high priced car that she cared more for
than her own family.
Uggg I swear sometimes she kills me. I mean what did he do for me so
great? Yea he gave me food, shelter, mostly everything I wanted and
more than what I needed. But what I really needed he never provided me
with, he never filled that hole in my heart where he should’ve been,
had me searchin fo’ love but luckily, luckily I wasn’t dumb enough
fall into anybody arms. Sometimes I think if Marcino hadn’t come along
I mighta been wit any dumb ass nigga. I remember once when he showed
that he loved me, but that often. I was about maybe ten years old
maybe younger or older I can’t quite recall that part.
“Stac I’m out fishin now.” said Nature’s Dad. She was sitting in the
kitchen chair eating and with her mouth full she said, “Ok.” Her Dad
walked over and kissed her on the forehead and said, “See you
Baby-Girl.” “Bye Da” Nature said.

Lemon Drops Filled with Muzic and Love

“What’s wrong with you? Dad just died and you act like you don’t  even care!”
 “Oh that’s not true and you know it.”
“Yea it is, you don’t have no kind of heart or feelings; everybody saw
you at the funeral, you didn’t even cry.” “I don’t have to cry to
prove my feelings.”
 “Well you could’ve showed some type of emotion for one of the people
who supported you and helped raise you.”
“Yea sure he did—support—huh, sure he supported me. He gave me money
and that’s bout it.” “You ungrateful little bit—’’
“Ungrateful? I was grateful for everything he gave me, which was a
proper education and Mommy did most of that so . . .” “What you mean
so!”

Lemon Drops Filled with Muzic and Love

“Ok Nature you’ve seen this dog on swing since you were a little girl
you can stop staring at it and speak to Me.” said Bethany.
Nonchalantly Nature rambled on, “Oh hey Beth you look very nice is
that the new black dress Devon bought you I thought you were going to
where that to his office’s cocktail party where did you get that hat
from that hat cute girl and them shoes oh my gosh girl where did you
get—’’

Lemon Drops Filled with Muzic and Love

BEEEEEEEEEEEP, Beep–Beep, BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP.
There she was in middle of the intersection stopping traffic. There
was a frenzy of horns honking for her to move. “C’mon Move!” yelled a
man in a Tonka toy looking truck from one corner of the intersection.
From another corner of the hectic intersection a robust man half
screaming and half spitting out un-chewed pieces of sandwich, “What
the hell are you doing lady—move the hell out the way!”
Hurriedly Nature sped through the red light as she blushed with
embarrassment. When she got home there Bethany sat in the rocking
chair on her front porch. Nature dreadfully got out of the car and
started walking slowly toward her sister. Why is she here I thought I
got rid of her when I left Dad’s burial. Nature finally stepped up
onto the porch without saying a word to her sister; instead she just
sat on the swing hanging from the other side of the quaint porch
admiring the swing. It was an old and beat up looking the chains had
long been rusted and the paint cracked off in more than one spot. The
only good thing to the swing was the roof it hung from, for that roof
endured many storms and never once did it fall or crack.

Lemon Drops Filled with Muzic and Love

“Marc!” Nature shouted, but no answer. She bellowed once more
“Marcino, come help me with this-will you!” A tall muscular football
shaped man trudged into one of the guest rooms, where Nature was
standing with the most piercing eyes that would have struck anyone who
looked at her with fear. Of course he didn’t notice; he was too busy
eating the massive sandwich that was bigger than his whole body.
Trembling with frustration she said, “Dag I can’t believe it took you
that long to answer me-what were you doing?’’ “Babe I’m sorry, but the
game is on and I didn’t want to miss anything important.’’ Marc said
sheepishly. “Oh, but me almost breaking my neck trying to get this box
on the shelf isn’t important . . . and besides we have DVR-duh!” “Oh
yea I forgot.”  “Huh, forgot my—”

Lemon Drops Filled with Muzic and Love

n the car she was quiet. Rrrrrrrrrrrrring, rrrrrrrrrrrring,
rrrrrrrrring, “Marc is calling, Marc is calling.” said the
computerized voice of Nature’s car. Nature ignored the constant ring
of her ringtone that grew more annoying by the second. “One missed
called from Marc and on new voicemail.” chimed the computerized voice
once more. She continued to focus on driving but somehow her mind
wandered.

Lemon Drops Filled with Muzic and Love

She stared up at the sky almost as if she was peering straight into
heaven. That day was beautiful: a bright sky, warm, sunny, everywhere
she looked she saw luscious colors, the grass was full and green, the
trees were strong and lively looking, the leaves and branches danced
with the occasional wind, the flowers stood tall and not the slightest
sign of wilting and the birds fluttered gracefully through the cloud
free sky; but for some reason grayish storm clouds formed themselves
above her head.  Although it was the middle of summer, she felt cold
as ice. The blacktop under her feet felt like heavy snow, with every
step she sunk lower into the road until she felt non-existent.
“Nature, Nature!” called Bethany. But she was too late Nature was
already driving away.